Just wondering…

Where I fit in all this. I’m seated at a table in a restaurant where I’ve just finished lunch, and I feel like I could cry my eyes out. I’m not very sad, but apparently, I am very emotional. I’ve just read over a natal chart interpretation that, once again, has shown me things I already knew about myself.

I just want to find my place. The flip side of this is that I already know there is no place for me save for the one I make for myself. This thought is both a comfort and a terror. This thought means that possess total autonomy and authority to determine my destiny; and it also means I am solely responsible for all that transpires in my during the pursuit of my self-catered fate. 

I have an idea that I am sitting on a veritable gold mine of power and potential, and that I just have yet to realize it. Why must it be this way? After all, it is Me who creates this reality for myself. In a way, it’s kind of romantic, though not in a sexual way. It’s romantic in a lone gunslinger on a mission to stop the worlds from disintegrating sort of way. Romantic in the same way of newly acquired unread books, and thrift stores that contain potential treasure to be mined. Romantic like hearing music in the sunrise, and finally overcoming your fear of your own internal darkness.

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